Getting to Know My Husband's Cock

Among the more provocative photobook titles of recent years has to be Ellen Jong's Getting to Know My Husband's Cock. Looking at the actual images, they aren't as X-rated as one might guess. The project seems intended more as tender homage to a lover than as hardcore porn, and in that role it performs with stamina.


Still, I have a hard time swallowing that title. I'm not sure I want to get to know Ellen Jong's husband's cock, or anyone else's cock for that matter. I can see why it might have a great deal of meaning for her. After all she's stuck with that cock for life, and it would behoove her to learn its habits. But does that imply that the rest of the world should be equally interested? I just don't know.

In the book's foreword Cindy Gallop makes the case for other similar projects. In particular she suggests that someone write Getting to Know My Wife's Pussy. Given the demographics of the porn industry this might be slightly more marketable than the cock book. But I think it would still face the same general problem. When it comes down to it the target audience for such a book is fairly narrow. It may even be as limited as just one person.

While books picturing spousal genitals may have limited appeal, I do have some suggestions which might work instead. For starters, what about a book called Getting to Know Discarded Dog Shit Bags?

As with Jong's book, there are questions about who exactly would be interested in such a book. Would it be limited to the dog owners to whom the shit belongs? Or the particular dogs who created the shit? Or perhaps it would have wider appeal?

We are soon to find out. Someone has already attacked this project, with the results scheduled to be unveiled at next spring's Format Festival in Derby. At this time there is no book planned but the photos are bagged and ready, just waiting for a publisher to come along.

from the series Discarded Dog Shit Bags by John Darwell
Another book idea I have is Getting to Know Athlete's Foot. This project is slightly different from those above in that it hasn't been completed yet. But a simple Google search reveals ample possibilities for exploration.

I think the best approach for this book would be to edit a compilation of found photographs. As you probably know, found photos are a very hot trend right now, especially given the current post-structural understanding that authorship is open to reappropriation. Who owns athlete's foot? No one. Any takers? Anyone?

Authorship unknown
Speaking of found photos, what about a book called Getting to Know Vomit, with material pulled from the popular website Rate My Vomit?

I think this would have widespread appeal. Unlike some things, for example Jong's husband's cock, vomit is a vision which we've all personally experienced in real life. Americans puke. Kuwaitis puke. Indonesians puke. It's a tie that brings humanity together. The potential market is astronomical.

This photo scored 5.7 on Rate My Vomit
Excuse me. I think I feel a vision coming on now...