Monday, May 20, 2019

X-7000 FAQ

Q: How does the X-7000 camera body compare to the X-6000?

A: The X-7000 does everything the X-6000 does, but better. 


Q: Yes, but what exactly is better or different?

A: Never mind the details, the X-7000 is a superior product in every way. Once you adopt the X-7000, little nagging questions like the one you just asked will melt away into insignificance.

Q: Can you offer any details at all?

A: The X-7000 has 20% more features than its predecessor. Some of these features involve the very nature of light itself, and its measurement. You know, quantum stuff.

Q: Will the X-7000 improve my photography?

A: Does a bear shit in the woods?


Q: The X-6000 suffered from shutter lag. Is the X-7000 better in this department?

A: Time is the universe's way of keeping everything from happening at once.  

Q: How is the X-7000 different in appearance from the X-6000?

A: The X-7000 body has been designed with fashion forward principles. Unlike the X-6000, which already looks quite dated just a few short years after its launch, the X-7000 will look damned sharp for some time into the foreseeable future, or at least until its successor hits the market.

Q: What trade-in value can I expect if I upgrade my X-6000 camera body to an X-7000?

A: The new digital economy offers fantastic opportunities and challenges.

Q: You didn't answer my last question. Does the X-6000 body carry any trade-in value?

A: The business cycle works in mysterious ways, and follows forces beyond the grasp of easy research or testing.

Q: Why does the X-7000 require me to register my personal information with your company before it will turn on? 

A: Ha Ha. Considering how much of your personal information is already floating around in the cloud, this request seems like a minor quibble to unlock all the great benefits of the X-7000. 

Q: Does the X-7000 come with any warranty against defects?

A: Yes, the warranty has 20% more features than its predecessor's warranty.


Q: What if I have doubts about upgrading to the X-7000 at this time?

A: If you want to be a pussy, let your competitors roll you in the market, and destroy all that you've worked so hard to accomplish, we suppose that is your decision to make. We can only offer a superior product. We cannot force you to adopt it.

Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Another dusty old gem

My old teacher Rich Rollins recently sent me this chat between JP Caponigro and Lee Friedlander, originally xeroxed from a 2002 issue of Camera Arts magazine. It contains several pearls of wisdom, tangents, and outright deflections, and is altogether so good I thought I'd share here. Enjoy.