Tuesday, January 7, 2014

The Clean Life

Do you suffer from information overload? Are you drowning in emails, tweets, text messages, updates, and come ons? It's a constant flow with no end in sight. How can one ever keep up?

Now there's a solution. Introducing Soap, the new smartphone app which simplifies your life by converting extraneous information into common household soap.

1. Install Soapapp on your smartphone. Alert Soap™ to any unwanted information sources.

2.  Soap™ filters incoming data streams. Unwanted info is diverted away from you and toward a formless binary slagheap. 

3. When enough binary slag has accumulated, the heap is melted down and rendered into a bar of household soap. It's completely inert, safe, and odorless.

What's next? The choice is yours! Set your soap on the mantle. Convert to suds. Keep it in your pocket for a few days, then throw it off a bridge. Boy, wouldn't that feel good? Or, if you like, simply wash your face. Then rinse and repeat.

Whatever you decide is fine. In any case, the important thing is the information stream can't hurt you anymore. Because now it's a bar of soap. 

So relax. Let Soap™ do the work. Say goodbye to information overload. Say hello to Soap.

No comments: