Shit My Photo Prop Says

(Inspired by Thomas Roma)

"You look nice today, Man. I should be shooting you."

"He is. John Mayer IS a great prop. Don’t make that smirky face about John Mayer, soul sister. And why is it that no one says soul sister anymore?"

"I miss Ed Weston. Somehow when he shot me he always let me know he appeciated my inner pepper."

"Take the goddamn picture already. I can't hold this pose forever. Well, yes, actually I can."

Prop — "What do you think your legacy will be?" 

Photographer — "Shooting you with this 8 x 10."

Prop — "Wait, that's my legacy. Not yours."

"What is the one thing that is holding us down? I can't speak for all props but for me it's this gaffer's tape attaching me to the table top."

"Where would we be without props? About 3 inches shorter. And backed by asbestos tile. That's where." 

"Don't you dare walk away. Where are you going? Outside? You stay in this studio. Shoot me! Shoot me, dammit!"

"It’s your job for this class to take photographs you’d run into a burning building to save. And I'm assuming you'd all save an armful of studio props while you're at it."

"Do you know what it's like to be a white sheet in the background? Never have I felt so invisible, so ignored. I feel like screaming! Shee-it!"

"I love it when you extend your bellows toward me."

"Do you know what happens when you give white kids a camera? They come back with photos of little black kids throwing up gang signs. True story. You call that a prop? I'm the fucking prop. I'm the prop! Not some silly gang sign."

"You realize props can't talk, right? I'm inanimate. In-An-I-Mate! What part of still life don't you get? You're hallucinating this whole conversation. Probably those pills you took. Asshole."