Why Photo Reviews Don't Hire Kittens

1. Reviewers sidetracked by relentness need to pounce on identification lanyards.

2. Kittens can't focus on anything for more than 7 seconds, requiring review times to be reduced to one minute sessions. Still not enough time for kittens to absorb basic information, nor for in-depth critique. 

3. Some reviewees discovered they could sway kitten opinion with catnip, creating unfair critical disparity. 

4. Cuteness rivets reviewees and renders them helpless to do anything but stare fawningly across the table at the reviewer.

5. Hairballs.

6. Kittens fall under the feline critical wing which argues that the unchecked proliferation of photographic images has created a "chronic voyeuristic relation" between photographers and their visual prey. If the Studium is a sort of education, the Punctum's condescension to mere meaning is not easily synthesized into formalist constraint, at least to a kitten.

7. Kittens don't have the right gallery and publishing connections.

8. When the bell chimes between review sessions, all hell breaks loose in a room full of kittens and prints.

9. Too few photographers willing to pay $800 for feedback from a kitten, even if the kitten has an MFA in photography.

10. Kittens can't talk.